


ShrekBowie Origins

by shrek



Category: David Bowie (Musician), LEGO Star Wars: The Yoda Chronicles, Shrek (Movies)
Genre: 1970s, AC/DC References, Alternate Universe - Shrek Fusion, Bottom David, Danny DeVito - Freeform, David Bowie - Freeform, David Bowie Tribute, Disco, Epic Battles, Epic Bromance, Epic Friendship, M/M, Meme, Memes, Mentioned Shrek (Shrek), Movie: Shrek (2001), Origin Story, Origins, Outer Space, RPF, References to David Bowie, References to Supernatural (TV), Shrek - Freeform, Shrek References, Shrek is Love Shrek is Life, Star Wars References, Yoda - Freeform, captain and tennille, ghost of robin williams, kokomo, mike love - Freeform, shrekbowie, the beach boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 15:28:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19112518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrek/pseuds/shrek
Summary: Just when you thought there would never be another Shrek/Bowie story... It's not ogre yet! I present to you, in the year 2019, SHREKBOWIE ORIGINS!Do that to me one more timeOnce is never enoughWith a man like you..Oh baby, do it to me one more time .. (Theme from ShrekBowie Origins, lyrics [c] 1980 by Toni Tennille)





	ShrekBowie Origins

Way back in ye olde times when all was innocent and life was simple, there lived a young man. This young man is our protagonist in this story. David, that was his name.   


  


"Oh, master,: an Englishman said, "When shall I be granted permission to visit Dark Swamp?"   


"PATIENCE!!" a gravely, high-pitched voice screamed, getting saliva in the Englishman's face. "Visit swamp, you do not!"   


The young man leaked a salty tear from his eye socket. "But Master Yoda-"   


"BE SILENT, YOU WILL!" The wise, elderly man yelled as he smacked the young man with his walking stick. "To olde swamp road you will not go!"  


The young English David reluctantly accepted the wise Yoda's orders and walked away, looking at the ground in contemplation.   


_"Ole Swamp Road, you will go NOT!"_ David thought to himself as he walked, mentally doing an imitation of his mentor Yoda. _"I'll show him.."_ He thought. David's thoughts came to an abrupt end as he mindlessly walked into a closed elevator door, knocking himself out.   


The scene cuts to a blurry silhouette of David blinking slowly, and cartoon stars floating around his head in a circle as he begins to regain consciousness. He put his hand on his forehead. "Ah," he moaned to himself, _"What happened?!" he thought._  


He pressed the button to go up the elevator to his living quarters. Suddenly, he hears the loudest sound of flatulence he's ever heard.   


PFFFFFFTHHHTHHTT!!! The stench was unbearable.   


"Oh, excuse me, heh heh," a Scottish voice bellowed cheekily. "Ah believe ah have passed gas" He chuckled.   


Much like when one is chopping onions, David's eyes teared up from the smell as he waited for the elevator to open. He didn't even look at the man who had just farted right beside him. He wouldn't be able to see through the stinky tears, anyway.   


Just then, the elevator dinged and they both entered the vessel and _"Kokomo"_ By the Beach Boys plays softly in the background.

_  
_

_"Off the Florida keys.." David starts to softly mumble along._   


"Uh. Hmm. Don't do that." a Scottish voice demanded.  


"Pardon?" David squeaked as he looked up at the man that towered over him in the small elevator.   


David's eyes widened and he gasped at the sight of this humongous green... Well, he wasn't exactly a _man_. David wasn't _quite_ sure what this green-colored giant _was_. _"He can't be a Yoda; he's much too huge.."_ David thought. He blushed because he couldn't help but feel slightly attracted to this huge, powerful, green giant.   


"Heh. Better out than in, I always say" he shrekled.  


"What's 'shrekled'?" David asked.   


"What are ya goin' on about, now?" he asked, confused at the 4th-wall-breaking reference.   


"Ah, nothing. I just saw the author write it and-" he stopped. He didn't want to seem like a lunatic in front of this devilishly handsome hunk.   


_This must have been the slowest elevator in the world._   


The elevator door suddenly pinged open, just as _"Muskrat Love"_ by Captain & Tennille began playing.   


"Well, this is ma floor." he stomped out and the whole elevator rumbled as if it was going to drop out of its shaft. David had wanted to stay on the elevator to listen to Muskrat Love, but he didn't want to risk never seeing this gentle giant again.  


"Wait!," David called after him. "I'm David. I never did catch your name."  


"Shrek. It's Shrek."   


David pressed the button to open the doors as they began to close, and he ran out of the elevator to chase after Shrek. Eventually, he caught up to him and avoided letting "the one" get away.   


"Are you, by chance, related to the one called 'Yoda'?" David said as he attempted to catch his breath.   


"Wha-Who said that?" Shrek hollered. Then he looked down and saw David. "Ah, it's you again. Nay, I know not anyone called 'Yoda'. Did yeh follow me here, boy?"   


David's cheeks turned beet red. "Y-yes," he admitted coyly.   


"Aye. I don't live here, I was jus' doin' a favor for somebody." Shrek told him. "I live off the Ole Swamp Road."  


"O-oh," David sighed, "I was going to as-" Shrek interrupted him with a mighty ogre roar and he beat his chest like a gorilla.   


  



End file.
